The polar bear wanted to travel in the canoe with me
I paddled to the shoreline and pushed the bear off onto the land
Where it could survive and make its way home
The bear walked along the shore
Following my canoe as I
Paddled along the shoreline
Of my dense memory
Paddling my way towards my childhood home
The water getting more shallow,
The river bank becoming less dense,
Less tangled with memories
The limbs of that forest burnt
The bear stopped following me when the tree line no longer camouflaged its body
I neared the opening of the landing I remembered well from childhood
Looking across the greenness of my grandmother's yard, up the hill towards the houses
I climbed out of the canoe
Walked along the edge of my
grandmother's yard, crossed the road
Walked all along the yard beside my mother's house, towards the back
Looking at my old homestead
Across my mother's back yard, up the south side, crossed the road again
Walked along my grandmother's yard where the strawberry garden of my childhood once lay in delicious rows
Walked up the hill where the weeping willow once stood so grand, peered over the snowbank,
I gazed at my grandmother's old blue house, the newer white house just behind, I surveyed the entire picture of all four houses on each lot separated by the road
I am thrown back to all those childhood Christmases
The memories sting bittersweet of
Decorating the yearly tree,
Laughter, happiness, love
Fullness
My mother, no longer here
My aunts and uncles
All of them in Spirit Land now
I stand in the living room of my childhood home
In the process of hanging a bulb on the tree
What happened here I wonder?
How did time pass so fast and
Escape me and leave me so
Empty?
So hollow, memories echoing like laughing bells
The bear waits for me down by the shore
I have to get back into that canoe
And paddle back to the present
The past is gone
No one significant lives here in this past I needed to get to in time
To see for myself
To feel for myself
A place where memories sting
Bittersweet and make me miss home
Where is home now I wonder?
Where did I come from feeling so impatient with the bear who I forced off the canoe?
The bear that stayed with me, followed me from the shore
How do I let go to get back to that present space
Who did I leave there, alone to face the future while I raced back in time?
I stand there alone thinking
Missing people from my present I can't recall while I stand in my past
I can only remember the Bear, my canoe
My paddle and the need to let the past rest.
I paddled to the shoreline and pushed the bear off onto the land
Where it could survive and make its way home
The bear walked along the shore
Following my canoe as I
Paddled along the shoreline
Of my dense memory
Paddling my way towards my childhood home
The water getting more shallow,
The river bank becoming less dense,
Less tangled with memories
The limbs of that forest burnt
The bear stopped following me when the tree line no longer camouflaged its body
I neared the opening of the landing I remembered well from childhood
Looking across the greenness of my grandmother's yard, up the hill towards the houses
I climbed out of the canoe
Walked along the edge of my
grandmother's yard, crossed the road
Walked all along the yard beside my mother's house, towards the back
Looking at my old homestead
Across my mother's back yard, up the south side, crossed the road again
Walked along my grandmother's yard where the strawberry garden of my childhood once lay in delicious rows
Walked up the hill where the weeping willow once stood so grand, peered over the snowbank,
I gazed at my grandmother's old blue house, the newer white house just behind, I surveyed the entire picture of all four houses on each lot separated by the road
I am thrown back to all those childhood Christmases
The memories sting bittersweet of
Decorating the yearly tree,
Laughter, happiness, love
Fullness
My mother, no longer here
My aunts and uncles
All of them in Spirit Land now
I stand in the living room of my childhood home
In the process of hanging a bulb on the tree
What happened here I wonder?
How did time pass so fast and
Escape me and leave me so
Empty?
So hollow, memories echoing like laughing bells
The bear waits for me down by the shore
I have to get back into that canoe
And paddle back to the present
The past is gone
No one significant lives here in this past I needed to get to in time
To see for myself
To feel for myself
A place where memories sting
Bittersweet and make me miss home
Where is home now I wonder?
Where did I come from feeling so impatient with the bear who I forced off the canoe?
The bear that stayed with me, followed me from the shore
How do I let go to get back to that present space
Who did I leave there, alone to face the future while I raced back in time?
I stand there alone thinking
Missing people from my present I can't recall while I stand in my past
I can only remember the Bear, my canoe
My paddle and the need to let the past rest.